Who ever said that case law is dry, and that judges only know how to speak eye-glazing “legalese?”
Not me. I’ve read enough tax cases to know that not only can tax law be entertaining, but that judges can have impressive senses of humor (not to mention, large vocabularies).
A case in point, so to speak, is a recent U.S.Tax Court case –Willson v. Commissioner of Internal Revenue, which was decided by the Tax Court on November 23, 2011.
Judge Holmes has long been my favorite tax jurist because he can take what, in other hands, might be a dry and boring recitation of facts and figures and transform a tax dispute into something that bring the reader both enlightenment and entertainment. In Willson v. Commissioner, Judge Holmes added a new arrow to his quiver–you can actually improve your vocabulary by reading this opinion and looking up the words you don’t know. I know that I learned several new words.
The case itself is not my focus for today’s post–it involves a determination of basis and various methods of depreciation, although it does provide an interesting detour into a discussion of “glam metal,” “hair bands,” and “grunge rock.”
Rather, my focus today is to highlight what I think has to be one of the most amazing sentences ever to appear in a court opinion.
Speaking of the taxpayer’s business, Judge Holmes said that the taxpayer “opened an establishment felicitously–and paronomastically–called the ‘Landing Strip,’ in which young lady ecdysiasts engaged in the deciduous calisthenics of perhaps unwitting First Amendment expression.”
Wow! What a sentence!
“Felicitously” – the name of the establishment was very well suited or expressed.
“Paronomastically” – from the Latin “paronomasia,” meaning a pun or play on words, meaning that the name of the establishment was not only well suited or expressed, but that its name was actually a pun or a play on words.
“Ecdysiasts” – a stripper.
“Deciduous” – a falling off or shedding as part of a life cycle, as in a deciduous tree.
So, instead of just saying that the taxpayer opened a strip joint, he said that he opened an establishment felicitously and paronomastically called the Landing Strip. He then went on to say not simply that the business was one in which strippers performed, but that one in which young lady ecdysiasts performed.
But the ecdysiasts did not just perform or strip. Rather, they engaged in deciduous calisthenics.
And since strip clubs sometimes claim that their dancers are engaged in protected First Amendment free speech, Judge Holmes mad the wry comment that the strippers engaged in their deciduous calisthenics were not necessarily intending to be engaged in the exercise of free speech. Hence, their calisthenics were perhaps of unwitting First Amendment expression.
How can anyone who loves words not get a kick out of this sentence in Willson v. Commissioner?
This is just one of many other wonderful sentences and paragraphs scattered throughout the opinion. Judge Holmes’ dry sense of humor and way with words is on full display in this case.
Love tax law, but want to mix a little humor with your depreciation schedules? Get your hands on Willson v. Commissioner. You’ll be glad you did.